i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
