so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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