How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
