If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
