Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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