the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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