oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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