Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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