I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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