He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
