i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
