am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Randomize
