Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
OPIZZABONMYDICK
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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