I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
