So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
