Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
