wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Just high enough for therapy.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
