i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
