I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
