I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
