Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
