ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
