I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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