State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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