Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
