who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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