I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
her facebook's as public as her vagina
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
