We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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