But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
