oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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