but the lizard people decide everything anyway
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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