Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
