You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
