4 words: hood of his car
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
