would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
