Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
