If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
