i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
