i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
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