He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I think i peed on brittanys purse
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
