he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I can't turn off my feet"
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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