It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
