If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
