i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
