Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
