I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
