I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
