i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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