she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Someone signed my nipple.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
