It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
