Me. At least after what I've been through.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
